Just some thoughts...

   So tonight was my first date...with an RM! It was a little intimidating, but it was fun. His name is Kyle and he just got off his mission in Germany this past summer. We went bowling with two other couples, who were both friends of Kyle. Don't get me wrong...I had a lot of fun, but I think I just feel more comfortable and more "me" around guys, or people in general, who are my age. Granted, the people I met tonight weren't that much older than me and they were really great people. I just feel more comfortable with "premies." I know, that's not necessarily a good thing since they're all gonna be leaving me very soon, but oh well.
     This morning, I went to Amy Mann's bridal shower. She is getting married to Dallin Wengert, who went to EAC with my sister Jenni. This couple is absolutely adorable and just by spending 15 seconds with them, you can totally tell that they are so in love with each other! :) Anyways, at her shower, I met several of her mission companions, who are all so awesome! They all served their missions in Poland; but just talking to them about their missions really has made me want to go even more! I'm so torn! :( So here are my thoughts on the matter:

Reasons to Go:
      1) I want to go.
      2) It would be so awesome to go, and I know that I would learn so much.
      3) If I wait, I'm afraid that I won't want to go in the future.

Reasons Not to Go:
      1) School, Work...other obligations that I had planned on doing.
      2) Josh comes home in February (nervous that once I actually see him, I won't wanna go.)
      3) Family News...I'll explain later.

So there you have it...3 reasons both for why to go and why not to go. One of the girls I was talking to said that I shouldn't wait for confirmation. If I have a desire to go, then I should go. I do want to go; I just don't know if it's the right time for me to go. I could just be second-guessing myself too, though. I feel like I have prayed and prayed and prayed about it and still just don't know. Amy said something that really hit me today though. She was talking about her decision whether to go or not. Now at this point, she knew Dallin would be home quite soon. She just said that she had wanted to go, but then the desire would go away. It kept coming back though and that's what made her decide to go. This really made me think...right when the missionary age change was announced, I knew I wanted to go. After really thinking about it, I thought well maybe not. Another weird thing was last night, I had a dream that I was called to serve in Australia! I woke up this morning and thought, "Wow, that was the coolest dream EVER!" I don't know if that was Heavenly Father's way of telling me I should go, but it sure made an impact on my day! The fact that, like Amy said, the thought of going on a mission just keeps coming back...makes me think that maybe I should be preparing to start my papers.