First round of DanceSport

This afternoon, Josh and I danced the quickstep in Dancesport. I was more nervous than he was, but only because he wasn't nervous at all, so I guess I was the one who had to be nervous for the both of us! haha. Anyways, we didn't do as well as we'd hoped. We were hoping to make it at least into the third round, but didn't make it past the first. So we were pretty bummed about it, even Josh was. The most frustrating thing about it was that a lot of couples the made it further were not as good as us, in our opinion. I thought we danced amazingly, but it just didn't work out. That's okay, it was a lot of fun anyways. We watched a little bit of it, then left, went and ate Costa Vida, went to the BYU Basketball game, then stopped back by for the Latin competition....which was AWESOME! Even Josh enjoyed it....way more than he will admit. haha. Each couple had to dance 5 dances each round: cha-cha, rumba, samba, paso doble, and jive. I recognized a lot of the dancers from the BYU team. I actually auditioned with one of them, Trevor, who I was way impressed with while watching! The jive was a favorite of both Josh and me; it's really fun to watch and I bet really fun to dance to also! I hope Kyle and I do well tomorrow morning dancing samba. I don't want to go into tomorrow with expectations of how well I want to do. Yes, I want to do well, but I don't want to be disappointed if we don't make it very far in the competition. The teaching assistant, Teddi, was absolutely shocked when Josh and I told him that we didn't make callbacks. I don't want to sound conceited, but we're pretty good. We think we're one of the best in our class, which frustrated us the most about the situation. A lot of our classmates made callbacks and even into the third round; many of whom we didn't think were really good enough to do so. However, that's our place to judge...that's why they have several judges there! :) Anyways, the more I watch ballroom, the more mesmerized I am by it. The more convinced that I belong there. The more determined I am to make team. A big issue I have is not performing. Yeah, I can do the steps, I have pretty good technique, but I feel dumb when I make sassy faces, I guess. However, the thing about Latin especially is that the faces and body language and performance are EVERYTHING! I have to stop worrying about the technical side of ballroom and start performing. Caitlin, my Latin teacher, who is working with a friend (Rebecca) and I to get us ready for ballroom team auditions in January. We met with her on Thursday before class and went over some basic things about auditions. Caitlin said that when we're performing, that's exactly what we need to do. Perform our butts off! When we walk on that stage, or floor for auditions, we need to entice our audience and MAKE them watch me. I guess I don't do this because I'm so worried about messing up the steps that I don't want people watching, if that makes sense. So yeah, I guess you could say that I'm doubting myself when it comes to really performing. My mom told me recently that a friend told her something really wonderful for me to hear. She told my mom that everything I did, I excelled at...or something to that affect. I laughed when my mom told me this and said "haha! It doesn't feel like that sometimes." And it doesn't. I feel like I may be good at something, but not good enough for it to matter. For example, I believe I'm good at ballroom. This was something that I just started doing in January and I feel like I have a simple talent for dance. But at the same time, I'm not a good enough dancer to make team. I'm not a good enough student to do well on tests. I'm sorry this post turned into a venting blog, but I guess it's just been what I've been feeling lately. Not good enough. But again, I do feel like I'm good at things. I'm a talented dancer, musician, student...but just not good enough. I guess I just need to have more faith in myself and to accept that when I'm doing my best...that is my best. I feel that Josh and I danced our best today and we didn't make callbacks, but that's okay. Yeah, we should be disappointed and bummed, but we have to realize, I have to realize, that we did our best and we should be happy with our best effort, our best performance. That's what Heavenly Father asks of us...to do our best, to be our best. If I do that, then I'm proud of my best. My best may not be good enough for me to make team, but my best is good enough for me to be proud of.